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Writer's pictureLakotaSummer

"The Conscious Parent" Shefali Tsabary Nails It!

Beautiful people! Happy Wellness Wednesday! I am so excited to blog about a book I believe is revolutionizing parenting (and not for nothing; this book has echoed my sentiments regarding parenting). I have never felt so passionate about a book (No, I take that back; the last time I was excited over a read was Toni Morrison's Beloved), To the point of reviewing it with the hopes of parents reading it for themselves.


Let's Go!!



In the act of parenting, Shefali Tsabary's "The Conscious Parent" emerges as the sage guide we didn't know we needed. Allow me to introduce Shefali Tsabary. A child psychologist, a public speaker, a wise woman, and a parenting game-changer!

Born and raised in India, Tsabary moved to the United States for her doctorate in Clinical Psychology. After years of studying child development and psychology, she embarked on a personal journey that led her to write "The Conscious Parent."

Her journey redefined parenting, dedicating her career to spelling out the ABCs of parenting, albeit with a refreshingly unconventional approach.



Rather than the traditional "parents-know-best" mantra, "The Conscious Parent" challenges us to turn the mirror onto ourselves. It's not just about raising our children but using the parenting journey as a path to our self-discovery and personal growth.


Why should we listen to Tsabary?


For starters, her groundbreaking book has the Oprah seal of approval (whether or not you are a fan, Oprah has pull). Yes, you read that right. "The Conscious Parent" is endorsed by Oprah Winfrey herself, who described it as "one of the most profound books on parenting she's ever read." If that's not impressive, I don't know what is.


So, what makes this book a must-read for not just modern parents but ALL parents?


It's simple. In an era where every parent searches for the secret recipe to raise successful kids, "The Conscious Parent" offers something different. It dares us to rethink our roles as parents, urging us to evolve with our children in this shared life journey.




Alright, take a deep breath. Prepare for your worldview, especially your parenting view, to be turned upside down. Dr. Tsabary's book is not your typical parenting guide. It's a journey of self-discovery, wrapped in layers of profound wisdom that might change everything you thought you knew about parenting.


A certain level of literary magic exists in "The Conscious Parent." However, it's not about waving a wand and transforming your child's behavior (even though we wish that were true!). It's about rediscovering parenting through a fresh lens.


As an SEL educator and mental health clinician, I believe this approach can lead to healthier relationships between parents and their children as it promotes empathy, understanding, and mutual respect, changing the entire dynamics of the parent-child relationship. You foster independence and emotional maturity by recognizing your child as an individual separate from you.


What are the most "blow your mind" insights from the book?


The first, and possibly the most radical, is this: your children are not here for you to control. They're here to mirror your unaddressed issues. This revelation alone could make you gasp out loud (go ahead, I won't judge). But once you embrace this, you might find it incredibly liberating.


Another insight: our kids don't need our approval; they need our presence. Fully tuning into our children's emotional needs and meeting them where they are can cultivate deep, soul-nurturing connections. And isn't that what we're all craving?

Finally, this gem: "When we parent, we must realize we aren't raising a 'mini-me,' but a spirit throbbing with its signature." That's a quote right from the book that stopped me in my tracks. Seriously, how beautiful is that? She validated how I am raising my daughter, not to be the woman I want her to be, but to be the woman she wants to be.




Implementing the book's ideas is as practical as it is profound. It's about turning everyday parenting challenges into opportunities for self-growth.

Remember when your little angel drew a masterpiece on the wall?

Did your blood boil? Yup, mine too (my then two-year-old did that). But instead of flipping out, I took a deep breath and thanked Picasso Jr. for showing me my need for control and perfection.


But how do you keep cool when your bundle of joy tests your patience?


Embrace the chaos: Accept that kids are, well, kids. They're messy and unpredictable, and that's okay.

Practice mindfulness: When tempers start to flare, take a moment. Breathe. Respond instead of react.

Learn and grow: Each tantrum or teenage rebellion is a chance to understand yourself better.

Parents, swapping our old habits for conscious ones isn't a cakewalk. But trust me, the rewards are worth it.




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